If you know me, you know I loath the modern democrat party…and in recent years the republican party has been vying for top pick among hatred of political parties. So this is going to come as a surprise when I say: I think if Jesus were on earth today, he would most naturally be affiliated more closely with the democrat party than the republican party…politically speaking. But before heads explode and people think I’ve gone bat-shit crazy, let me explain myself. Now if you haven’t been to Sunday school or you’re slacking on your confessions, a lot of this may not be familiar to you. Don’t worry, I’ll explain it as best I can.

To lay the premise for my thesis I will ask a simple question. What was Jesus’s main mission on earth? In his own words:

For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost. – Luke 19:10 (KJV)

Don’t get me wrong, I do not think the democrat party does much of saving the lost. It was this same Jesus that said:

And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? – Luke 6:39 (KJV)

However, the principle of the matter is true. Jesus’s main goal on earth (at least according to the Bible) was to help others. This was a man who didn’t own a house, was too poor to own an ass and more importantly didn’t use his popularity for self aggrandizement.

Ever remember Jesus telling folk they couldn’t immigrate to Israel? Actually I recall him saying quite the opposite:

Thou shalt neither vex a stranger, nor oppress him: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt – Exodus 22:21 (KJV)

In fact he encouraged an open border policy and Israel was supposed to welcome any guest as long as they were willing to abide by Israeli law, no matter how poor or rich they were (Exodus 20:10 KJV). Unfortunately, by the time Jesus showed up, many of the religious leaders, mainly the Pharisees, had adopted an anti-immigration stance. In fact this thought had so pervaded the society that when he banished a demon from a gentile woman’s daughter his disciples were pissed, further proving the nationalist extremism thought that was fostered among the Jews during his time.

Then Jesus went thence, and departed into the coasts of Tyre and Sidon. 22And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou Son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil. 23But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us. 24But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 25Then came she and worshiped him, saying, Lord, help me. 26But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it to dogs. 27And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table. 28Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour. – Mark 7:21-28 (KJV)

Now I am sure quite a few republicans are mumbling that they don’t have a problem with immigration, just the low skilled immigrants who sit on government aid that we the tax payers have to support. And I’ll be the first to say, I’m with you on that. I hate looking at my paycheck and seeing 25% going to government services which I will unlikely reap the benefit of, but may end up in the hands of some lazy person in the form of welfare.

But once again I don’t quite remember Jesus being of that philosophy. In fact he made specific provisions for the poor, fatherless, widow and even slaves and strangers who sought refuge in Israel.Where did I get this? Glad you asked.

And when ye reap the harvest of your land, thou shalt not make clean riddance of the corners of thy field when thou reapest, neither shalt thou gather any gleaning of thy harvest: thou shalt leave them unto the poor, and to the stranger: I am the LORD your God. Leviticus 23:22

When thou cuttest down thine harvest in thy field, and hast forgot a sheaf in the field, thou shalt not go again to fetch it: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hands. 20 When thou beatest thine olive tree, thou shalt not go over the boughs again: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow. 21 When thou gatherest the grapes of thy vineyard, thou shalt not glean it afterward: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow. 22 And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in the land of Egypt: therefore I command thee to do this thing. – Deuteronomy 24:19-22

Sounds a little like redistribution of wealth right? Not exactly, but he did tell one rich young man to sell everything he had and give to the poor because he was selfish (Matthew 19:21). Granted he didn’t force him but the principle of helping the ‘worthy poor’ was a big part of Christ’s teaching. even though those provisions were there, the lazy did not benefit from these government programs because further on in the bible you will find the following:

For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. – 2 Thessalonians 3:10

Not exactly words directly from the mouth of Christ, but we are going on the assumption that Paul was inspired of God (Jesus) and thus was speaking on his behalf, unless otherwise noted (1 Corinthians 7:25).

Still with me? Ever heard the term “traditional American values.” It’s a phrase conservatives love to use. However, once again, if we are to be completely honest, Jesus wasn’t too concerned about tradition. In fact he was for the dissolution of tradition. Responding to the Pharisees who took ought over his disciples lack of respect for Jewish customs and traditions Jesus replied:

For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do. – Mark 7:8 (KJV)

Before I am misquoted however, let me clarify. I’m not saying if Jesus were around today he would condone the union of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, I think the bible is quite clear on that subject; what I am saying is half the things folk get riled up about is tradition and sometimes it is OK to break tradition especially if those traditions do not have merit anymore. That constitution that we conservatives hold dear, I am sure if Christ were on earth today he would say it’s about time it were reworked.

And though I hate to admit it, Jesus was an environmentalist, not the crazy loony bins who control Greenpeace, PETA, ELF and ALF, but he was for the ethical treatment of animals and the environment. I’m sure he would be none too kind with the deforestation that is happening in the Amazon, in fact he said:

Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. – Luke‬ ‭12‬:‭6-7‬ KJV

And if he were around today I’m pretty sure he would be vegan or vegetarian at the very least. Hunting game for fun would definately be frowned upon, after all he did have a hand in creating these animals and if we wouldn’t like our pets to be shot and killed by hunters, I’m pretty sure Jesus feels the same way about deer and bear hunting. After all they are his pets right?

Now the inevitable question arises, why don’t I align myself with the democratic party if I believe Jesus’s values and philosophies most closely represents them. I think I can best sum this up by a woman who Jesus watched at the temple.

41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. 42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. 43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

In my own words: Yes the message of the democratic party is good. But their motives are corrupt. And while I think if Christ were around today he would ascribe to the ideology of helping the poor and saving the environment, I highly doubt you would find him on the campaign trail with Clinton, Obama or Kerry

But lest you think my whole thesis is far fetched, Jesus announced his political candidacy riding on a donkey, not an elephant.