Being a young black man who refuses to view the world in black and white, it appeared as quite a shock to me that many African-American and Caucasian women would be in a debate as to why many successful black men will choose vanilla or caramel over the dark chocolate. I refused to voice my opinion on this subject except to a few close acquaintances until I saw this article, which quite frankly, is one of the most idiotic posts I have seen. But that is beside the point because ultimately the article completely misses the point about why successful black men constantly date white women over their darker skinned counterparts. In my estimation, it really has nothing to do with skin color but rather psychology.
There was a time in this country when it was a crime to be a nigga. Apparently said crime is no more seeing we have one running to and fro in the halls of the White House, We”ve come a long way from the days when they”d lynch young niggas for even dreaming of being president. But it still begs the question why? Why, after all these years of civil rights progress would a black man date a white woman? While I don”t intend to answer this question, I do intend to put forward some plausible hypothesis.
Back in the “good old days,” a nigga could be shot for as little as smiling at a white woman, Emmett Till. I dare you, read any historical account from the days of slavery or before the civil rights movement and you will find multiple accounts of niggas being lynched for looking at, smiling at, flirting with and sleeping with white girls. But somehow, they never learned their lesson and, as a lamb to the slaughter, hundreds of young black niggas gave their lives for white booty.
But why did they do it? Was it because these women were more voluptuous than the niggaritas? I highly doubt it seeing that most these women were thin as a straw, pale as a vampire and didn”t know the lyrics to the latest negro spirituals being sung by the brotha”s in the field. In fact it wasn”t until T-Pain, Ludacris, Akon and ”lil Wayne started popularizing the size of the booty, around the turn of the new millennium, that white women headed to the gym to work on their glutes. But since the days of slavery the black women had it going on both front and back, but for some reason the brotha”s grew tired of the black trunk and all the junk that rode along in it and instead opted to sleep with the enemy.
Maybe it was bragging rights. Nothing would make for a better cotton picking tale than bragging to the otha niggas about the white booty young Kunta Kinte scored with the slave masters daughter. And needless to say, the news of such stories got out. Not that this was a one way street, seeing many slave masters smashed black booty in those days, only difference is they weren”t hanging from trees if the brotha”s found out.
Or maybe it increased their self-esteem. Here is young Kunta, destined to be a slave for the rest of his life, but yet he is able to eat from the forbidden tree. If nothing would improve this young nigga”s self-worth, sleeping with a white woman would and since the dawn of creation every male, at one point or another, no matter the race, has associated their self-worth with the type of women they are able to copulate with.
Not much has changed psychologically in the black man”s mind, even though his cotton picking days are far behind him. While he is physically free, he is still the butt jokes of late night comedy shows and racist jokes. He is still more likely to go to prison for the same crime than any other race and not only is he degraded by other races, he is treated as a dog within his own, hello BET. Thus it is not surprising that many black men would aspire to set themselves apart when they do become successful.
For many black men, dating a white woman is a status symbol, a trophy if you will. It means that he can finally pick from the top of the list instead of settling for the leftovers, and it doesn”t help that most rappers degrade black women to the society of those lower than dogs. Could it be that perhaps there is an unconscious disdain for black women in the eyes of many black men because of how society has taught us to look at them: women who are good for nothing, eat sleep and have sex and live on welfare to support their worthless lifestyle?
Or maybe it”s because being successful opens the door to many other women within their social class, and seeing black is a minority, it is only logical that the crop of successful black women is smaller than the crop of successful white women. Thus not really race, but rather probability and availability.
It is for this same reason that many successful black women end up with white men. Not because they want to, but when you consider the fact that over 60% of their potential black spouses are behind bars, it really thins out the herd of potential mates. Many successful black women complain about how they cannot find another successful brotha. And unfortunately it seems that many successful black men either pick a ratchety black hoe who is only good in bed or a trophy white girl over a successful and commanding black women.
Or maybe it is the fact that for many black women, they have to claw, bite and fight their way to the top, and by the time they get there, they are such a different person that it freaks out the potential brotha”s. Many extremely successful women no matter the race make horrible wives because it is hard for them to change roles once in a relationship. They are so used to being in charge that it is hard to sit back and allow someone else to take charge, especially when said person makes far less in wages then they do.
And finally, the notion that black men date white women because they are push overs and will do whatever they want…first of all, such generalizations are usually based on misconceptions and prejudiced dogmas. Secondly, you will find women who are pushovers from every race and there really isn”t any scientific data that proves the lighter the skin, the more submissive the will. Take a general consensus from married men from any race, and I”m sure you will find that most will tell you their wives are not push overs. Remember, it was the white woman who was at the helm of the woman”s suffrage movement in the 1800s as well as the woman”s right and empowerment movement during the 40”s 50”s and 60”s. Where were the black women? Probably still finding a locksmith to break their shackles.
So in the end, maybe it”s more about availability, status and culture than it is about race…and for the record, not every successful black guy dates a white girl.